Circumdoleō

Circumdoleō (I suffer or feel pain on all sides) is a dramatic view into the minds of individuals by asking the threatening question, “what do you fear most?” The series is a collaboration with selected individuals with whom I am close, the aim being to effectively represent the bottomless void in which these fears sit and bringing light to the real horrors that individuals wake up to and face alone. Beyond the surface level of fears such as that of snakes, heights and drowning, Circumdoleō aimed to find their psychological horrors. The subjects were interviewed in order to uncover their most terrifying reality, going through hours of discussion with each individual, trying to untangle aspects that everyone wants to hide. From there they were asked to write a letter to said fear. No criteria were set, just to write. After constant reading, I’d immerse myself into each individual’s section of hell. An image would be thought of and then a self-portrait was made. The series was intended to be more about the journey than the destination, progressing and approaching each image with the idea that “this fear is as much mine as it is theirs” whilst tackling the challenge of trying to visualise and represent fears like these with abstract symbolism combined with a line from the interviewees respective letters. There are key aspects of Circumdoleō that will never be heard, seen or felt by anyone but myself or the subjects to which they belong in the page-long letters that were written or the methods used to get into the subjects' states of mind before creating each image to accurately represent their fear. In the end, becoming mentally strained knowing that these horrors that haunt people close to me could so easily become reality, I often became lost and haunted by the fears myself. What you are seeing is just the tip of the iceberg.

Individual #1, 2021  

pigment print  

1000 x 660 mm

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Individual #2, 2021  

pigment print  

1000 x 660 mm

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Individual #3, 2021  

pigment print  

1000 x 660 mm

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Individual #4, 2021  

pigment print  

1000 x 660 mm

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