What do you see when you wake up? Do you hear the birds chirping as the warm morning sun lands right on your face, Illuminating your room as a new day rises? That same old routine I have had for the past 15 years has suddenly been altered, a change that is out of my control. The alarm inside my head now goes off around midday, with breakfast and lunch sometimes becoming one. The eagerness and desire to get ready and out the door so I don’t miss my usual 9:00am tram no longer exists. Now I just wake up and lay staring at the ceiling, trying to grasp any sort of energy to feel somewhat productive. Assignments get pushed and so does the workload, and usually I would be half-way through my day and would’ve completed assignments ready to hand in the following day. Not any more. The empty chairs at uni, the dark classrooms usually filled with life, now sit dormant. Every now and then I try to exercise for my daily allowance of time allocated beyond these white walls, seeing the same ducks as I pass the lake and the same locals at the corner shop. I find myself at times just getting lost; time becomes a less valuable currency and any element of productivity goes out the window. This would sometimes carry me into the darkest hours of the night where most would’ve already gotten sufficient hours of sleep. So being lost has me on a spiralling path leading to nowhere and I soon dread that I won’t be able to find my way back to how it used to be, as calendar dates slowly fade away.

Beyond these White Walls, 2021  

photography  

119.13 x 211.67 mm